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October 28, 2025
  • Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”
  • Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class
  • Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen
  • Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron
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  • Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

    18 hours ago15 hours ago
  • Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

    1 week ago
  • Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

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  • 16

April 16, 2014

  • Cornell

Varsity Hockey Player Pre-Enrolls in Straight A’s

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago03 mins

ITHACA- Following his completion of pre-enroll, varsity hockey player Tucker Maclin ’15, announced his excitement at the fact that next semester he will, like all previous semesters, be receiving a 4.0 GPA . This incredible feat will be accomplished while taking a substantial 18 credits, only having classes on Wednesdays, and with the stipulation that…

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  • Cornell

Happy Dave Transcends Into Higher Plane of Existence

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

Cornell Dining announced earlier today that Okenshields greeter David Sepulveda, commonly known as “Happy Dave,” has elevated into a higher level of being. Having been happy for so long, he has developed an understanding of the universe incomprehensible to other humans. As a result, he has transformed into a creature of the higher dimensions. “Dave…

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