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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

2 days ago2 days ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

2 days ago2 days ago

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

3 days ago3 days ago

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

3 days ago3 days ago

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

1 week ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

1 week ago1 week ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

1 week ago1 week ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

12 months ago12 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

12 months ago7 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • April
  • 16

April 16, 2014

  • Cornell

Varsity Hockey Player Pre-Enrolls in Straight A’s

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA- Following his completion of pre-enroll, varsity hockey player Tucker Maclin ’15, announced his excitement at the fact that next semester he will, like all previous semesters, be receiving a 4.0 GPA . This incredible feat will be accomplished while taking a substantial 18 credits, only having classes on Wednesdays, and with the stipulation that…

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  • Cornell

Happy Dave Transcends Into Higher Plane of Existence

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

Cornell Dining announced earlier today that Okenshields greeter David Sepulveda, commonly known as “Happy Dave,” has elevated into a higher level of being. Having been happy for so long, he has developed an understanding of the universe incomprehensible to other humans. As a result, he has transformed into a creature of the higher dimensions. “Dave…

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