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May 13, 2026
  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
  • Student Accused of Using AI Forced to Defend Worst Discussion Post Ever
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  • Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power

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  • 2014
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  • 16

April 16, 2014

  • Cornell

Varsity Hockey Player Pre-Enrolls in Straight A’s

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago03 mins

ITHACA- Following his completion of pre-enroll, varsity hockey player Tucker Maclin ’15, announced his excitement at the fact that next semester he will, like all previous semesters, be receiving a 4.0 GPA . This incredible feat will be accomplished while taking a substantial 18 credits, only having classes on Wednesdays, and with the stipulation that…

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  • Cornell

Happy Dave Transcends Into Higher Plane of Existence

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

Cornell Dining announced earlier today that Okenshields greeter David Sepulveda, commonly known as “Happy Dave,” has elevated into a higher level of being. Having been happy for so long, he has developed an understanding of the universe incomprehensible to other humans. As a result, he has transformed into a creature of the higher dimensions. “Dave…

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