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March 13, 2026
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
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  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

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  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

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  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

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April 29, 2014

  • Cornell

History Major Finds Job in 19th Century England

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

ITHACA – Drew Teegen, a history major graduating this May, recently announced that he has found employment as a factory worker in Victorian era England. The senior plans on beginning his employment in July of 1844. “Through my history classes at Cornell, I’ve learned a number of highly marketable skills,” explained Teegan. “Including an in-depth…

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  • Cornell

Inspired by Fishbowls, Level B to Establish Object-Based Drinking Every Weekday

Nooz Staff12 years ago10 years ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Due to the success of their Wednesday night Fishbowls special, Collegetown bar Level B has announced the creation of a themed drink for every night of the week based around various household objects and containers.  “If I’ve learned anything in my time at Level B, it’s that people love drinking, but they hate drinking…

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  • Cornell

Student Voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in High School Fails Orgo Prelim

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY- Following an impressive high school career filled with many accomplishments, including being voted “Most Likely to Succeed” by his peers, Charlie Bostic ’17 has just found out  that he failed his organic chemistry prelim. The freshman, who only a year before had been president of Lincoln High School Debate Team and Salutatorian of…

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