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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

3 hours ago3 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

11 months ago11 months ago

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

11 months ago11 months ago

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

11 months ago11 months ago

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

11 months ago11 months ago

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

11 months ago11 months ago

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • April
  • 29

April 29, 2014

  • Cornell

History Major Finds Job in 19th Century England

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

ITHACA – Drew Teegen, a history major graduating this May, recently announced that he has found employment as a factory worker in Victorian era England. The senior plans on beginning his employment in July of 1844. “Through my history classes at Cornell, I’ve learned a number of highly marketable skills,” explained Teegan. “Including an in-depth…

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  • Cornell

Inspired by Fishbowls, Level B to Establish Object-Based Drinking Every Weekday

Nooz Staff12 years ago10 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN- Due to the success of their Wednesday night Fishbowls special, Collegetown bar Level B has announced the creation of a themed drink for every night of the week based around various household objects and containers.  “If I’ve learned anything in my time at Level B, it’s that people love drinking, but they hate drinking…

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  • Cornell

Student Voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in High School Fails Orgo Prelim

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

ITHACA, NY- Following an impressive high school career filled with many accomplishments, including being voted “Most Likely to Succeed” by his peers, Charlie Bostic ’17 has just found out  that he failed his organic chemistry prelim. The freshman, who only a year before had been president of Lincoln High School Debate Team and Salutatorian of…

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