September 8, 2014

Headlines

OP-ED: You And I Both Know Our Construction Team Can’t Handle Building A Pathway In Ezra’s Tunnel
9 years ago9 years ago
Student Who Bleeds Big Red Sadly Returns Latest Nike Shoes
9 years ago
Report: Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday
9 years ago9 years ago
Student at Summer Internship Drops Fourth Hint of Day That He Goes to Cornell
10 years ago
Professors Notice Increase in Student Motivation To Be the Very Best, Like No One Ever Was
10 years ago10 years ago
Report: 10:10 Lecture Fills Up Too Quickly and Oh Boo Hoo You Sad Fucks
10 years ago10 years ago

Cornell to Increase Tuition by Two Vital Organs

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL — Following a common trend that has been taking place over the last decade, Cornell University has announced that it will be increasing student tuition by two vital organs for the 2015-2016 school year. “We understand that this move will not be popular among the students, however the costs of running a major…

Russian Roommate Won’t Stop Encroaching on Ukrainian Roommate’s Side of Room

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN– Katerina Grochenko, a senior of Ukrainian descent, is reporting that living with her Russian roommate Maria Vasileva ‘16 has been “a pure nightmare” this past week. “Maria won’t stop dumping her stuff on my side of the room. She uses my dishes and eats my food,” said the distraught Grochenko. When I ask her…