Skip to content
Wednesday, November 11, 2026
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus

8 hours ago8 hours ago

Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture

1 day ago1 day ago

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

5 days ago5 days ago

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

6 days ago6 days ago

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

6 days ago6 days ago

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

1 week ago1 week ago

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

1 week ago1 week ago

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

12 months ago9 months ago

Fun Aunt Put Marshmallows in Hers

12 months ago12 months ago

“Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • September
  • 24

September 24, 2014

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: I’m Not Afraid of You, Punk.

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

By a squirrel. You wanna go, you piece of shit? I’ll do it, man, don’t test me! You think just because I’m a squirrel and you’re an adult human being, I’m afraid of you? I’ll kill you! I’LL KILL YOU! I’ve been the top squirrel around here for months, man. I don’t mess around, and…

Read Full News
  • Cornell

Both Roommates Waiting for Right Time to Put Up Katy Perry Poster

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

DICKSON HALL- Even after being at school for over a month, sources state that roommates Jesse Turner and Dean Mathers and both still waiting for the right time to put up their respective Katy Perry posters. “I love Katy Perry, that’s for sure. I just don’t want anyone to know,” professed Mathers, who keeps all…

Read Full News
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.