October 6, 2014

Insomnia Cookies to be Replaced by Paranoia Undercooked Meats

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN — It was learned today that favorite local late-night dessert establishment Insomnia Cookies will be closing in the upcoming months, and will eventually be replaced by a new business called Paranoia Undercooked Meats. “We here at Paranoia Undercooked Meats understand that Insomnia Cookies has been a staple among hungry students looking for a late-night…

Comm Major Still Trying to Figure out What “Comm” Stands For

Nooz Staff11 years ago01 mins

KENNEDY HALL- Following an entire year of taking introductory classes for the eventual B.S. degree, Comm major Samantha Booker ’17 admitted that at this point in her collegiate career she still is unaware of what ‘Comm’ stands for. “Computers? Community? Combative training? I really don’t know, and these classes aren’t giving me any hints,” complained…

Consulting Club Rejects Forced to Enjoy Youth Instead

Eric Adams Drops Out of NYC Mayoral Race, Excited to Pursue Corruption in Other Aspects of Public Service

Please Take One! Frat Leaves Basket of Zyns on Doorstep for Early Recruitment of Trick-or-Treaters

“Can I be Gru?” Asks Short, Yellow, One-Eyed Friend with No Self-Awareness

Illegal Canadian Immigrants Descend on Lynah Rink Thanks to Josh Riley’s Open Border Policy

Ben Shapiro Stirs Up Hydrophobic Allegations After Swallowing Motor Oil to Make Voice Extra Squeaky

Insomnia Cookies to be Replaced by Paranoia Undercooked Meats

Comm Major Still Trying to Figure out What “Comm” Stands For