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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

3 hours ago3 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

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Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

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Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

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Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

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Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

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Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2014
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  • 10

November 10, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Massive Pileup Behind Group Slowly Walking Four Abreast

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

EAST AVENUE – A huge traffic jam developed yesterday after four freshmen began to walk side by side down the side walk, eventually resulting in a dramatic collision of several pedestrians and a cyclist. “It was carnage,” one bystander reported, “the entire street slowed down, and the next thing I knew there were bodies everywhere.”…

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  • Cornell

Senile Student Activists Still Protesting Vietnam War

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

URIS HALL — Over 24 confused alumni rallied together Sunday night for an anti-war demonstration in light of the U.S. government’s involvement in Vietnam. “Our classmates did not die face down in the mud just for us to give up the protest,” retorted dissident Brendan Arendt ‘74 while burning his draft card. “We can’t give…

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