March 25, 2015 – CU Nooz

Headlines

FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy”
11 months ago11 months ago
“If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut
11 months ago11 months ago
OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool
12 months ago12 months ago
Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information
12 months ago12 months ago
Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future
12 months ago12 months ago
Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group
2 years ago2 years ago

Journalist Successfully Uncovers Cornell’s Unwavering Support for ISIS

Nooz Staff11 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL- Thanks to the actions of investigative journalists at Project Veritas, the Cornell community was shocked and appalled to learn Wednesday that the University strongly supports the actions of ISIS, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. “Yeah, that would be okay,” said Assistant Dean of Students Joe Scaffido, probably in response to a…

Goy Apprehended in 104West

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

104WEST! — Panic erupted at Cornell’s Jewish dining hall on Wednesday, when several patrons discovered that a non-Jew had gained access to the premises. The goyish intruder, Sean O’Flynn ’16, made it past the first few tiers of security and was almost about to eat his lunch before the alarms went off. “A breach like…