Following the Supreme Court decision this past Friday legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states, honor student Timothy Adler ’17 and notorious bad-boy Bradley announced their intention to get engaged, much to the chagrin of Adler’s mom. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very accepting of my son and I’m thrilled about the SCOTUS decision that…
ITHACA — After the recent legalization of gay marriage by the Supreme Court on Friday, Cornell University founders Ezra Cornell and AD White were finally able to get engaged. “I was so incredibly happy when I heard the big news, but for Ezra to pop the question immediately was the icing on the cake!” exclaimed…
DAY HALL — As President Skorton cleans out his office to make way for Elizabeth Garrett’s arrival on July 1st, the illustrious faculty of his administration are being packed up and shipped out. Some administrators will go in storage, others will be sent to Skorton’s new office at the Smithsonian. While bundling up the various…
LANSING — Citing his unlimited free time, complete lack of responsibility, and lingering sense of childlike wonder, area middle school student Dennis Roberts is having a far more fulfilling and enjoyable summer than you. “Most days I wake up at around 11:30, have a big plate of waffles for breakfast, and then bike to meet…
ROCHESTER – Derrick Crowley, Class of 2019, is currently attempting to figure out the best way to tell his fellow freshman of that one night of underage drinking during his final year of high school. Crowley believes that his crazy and meticulously practiced story will gain him social credibility and immediately garner friends during O-Week….
ITHACA — A horrendously lost man was seen wandering the streets of downtown Ithaca asking locals how to get to the nearest beach. The man was reportedly on vacation in Ithaca with his wife and two children, adamant about swimming in the ocean. “Hey, can you show me where we can catch some waves?” asked…
