August 25, 2015 – CU Nooz

Headlines

OP-ED: Fuck, Time to Scrap That “Worker’s Rights” Theme Year
2 years ago2 years ago
Freshman from England Used to Eating Inedible Food
2 years ago2 years ago
Overachievers? Couple in The Back of Hideaway Already Busy Making Double Legacies
3 years ago3 years ago
Qatar Campus To Celebrate ‘Limit of Expression’ Year
3 years ago5 months ago
OP-ED: Dear Freshmen, that Twenty-Person O-Week Friend Group is Much Cooler Than You and If You Don’t Have Best Friends Yet, Just Give Up Trying
3 years ago5 months ago
Freshman Patiently Waiting to Cross College Ave Gets Hit by Car Anyway
3 years ago5 months ago

Elizabeth Garrett Fails Swim Test

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

TEAGLE HALL — After failing to swim the requisite 75 yards, Elizabeth Garrett was disappointed to announce she had not passed the water safety competency test enforced by the University. She will now need to enroll in PE 1100 – Beginning Swimming and pass the course before the end of her tenure, in order to…

Outdated Chemistry Syllabus Confirms Year Still 2012

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

BAKER LAB — At today’s first lecture of CHEM 2140, an outdated syllabus officially revealed that this year’s course takes place once again during Fall semester 2012. Professor Janice Stocking was proud to acknowledge that her syllabus transcends time, that the year of Tim Tebow and the Mayan Apocalypse was expressly selected for this offering…