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“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
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“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat
Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup
Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President
Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

1 day ago1 day ago

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

5 days ago5 days ago

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

6 days ago6 days ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 week ago1 week ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
matty van hooty

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2015
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  • 25

August 25, 2015

  • Cornell

Elizabeth Garrett Fails Swim Test

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago01 mins

TEAGLE HALL — After failing to swim the requisite 75 yards, Elizabeth Garrett was disappointed to announce she had not passed the water safety competency test enforced by the University. She will now need to enroll in PE 1100 – Beginning Swimming and pass the course before the end of her tenure, in order to…

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  • Uncategorized

Outdated Chemistry Syllabus Confirms Year Still 2012

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

BAKER LAB — At today’s first lecture of CHEM 2140, an outdated syllabus officially revealed that this year’s course takes place once again during Fall semester 2012. Professor Janice Stocking was proud to acknowledge that her syllabus transcends time, that the year of Tim Tebow and the Mayan Apocalypse was expressly selected for this offering…

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