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February 2, 2016

  • Uncategorized

2035 Survival of Human Species Not a Priority for Cornell, Garrett Says

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL – President Elizabeth Garrett announced today that Cornell University would no longer strive to achieve complete survival of the human species by 2035, two years after former president David Skorton established action to keep people mostly alive by the same year. “We believe that it is not in our best interest at this…

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  • Cornell

Climate Change Forces Ithaca Weather Monster to Retire

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

TOMPKINS COUNTY — Gerry the Ithaca weather monster is announcing his retirement after he tried all year to build up massive amounts of snow to dump on students and residents in the greater Tompkins County region, only to see all his hard work melted by man-made global warming. “I’m done. I can’t stand it,” Gerry…

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