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February 26, 2026
  • Hateful Professor Asks Question on Reading No One Read
  • Biology Major Slinks Sheepishly Out of Lab, One Rat Heavier
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
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(Insert Funny Title about Cornell Crime Alert System Here)

Nooz Staff10 years ago01 mins

BARTON HALL –

(Insert body of article about Cornell Crime Alert System)

(Quote from Kathy Zoner goes here)

(Optional: Insert student reaction)

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