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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

1 day ago1 day ago

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

2 days ago2 days ago

English Department Receives $12 Grant

2 days ago2 days ago

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

3 days ago3 days ago

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

3 days ago3 days ago

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

1 week ago2 days ago

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

1 week ago1 week ago

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

1 week ago1 week ago

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

12 months ago12 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

12 months ago7 months ago
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November 29, 2016

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Asshole Professor Assigns Reading When All the Other Shit Is Due

Nooz Staff10 years ago10 years ago01 mins

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL – In what is sure to be received as a total dick move by his Earth Science students, asshole Professor Robert Simpson assigned a ninety-page reading for Monday when all everyone’s other shit is due. “This guy’s a total shithead,” said Peter Clegg ‘17, turning two pages without looking at the reading,…

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