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March 4, 2026
  • First Frisbee of Spring Sees Shadow, Predicts No More Weeks of Winter
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  • Fire Hazard! Asbestos Removal Notices Cover Over 10% of Dorm Room Wall Space
  • Terrorism Enthusiasts Excited For New Batch of Extremist Organizations to Emerge After Iran War
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November 25, 2020

  • Uncategorized

OP-ED: This Thanksgiving, I’d Like to Thank God For Blessing Me With Such a Fat Juicy Pussy

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago02 mins

Thanksgiving is a day in which friends and family give their thanks for all that they are grateful for. This year, I plan on expressing a huge thank you to God for gifting me with an invaluable asset: a succulent, sizable, stank-ass pussy.  When forging me from his flesh, God decided to direct any weight…

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Freshman Departs Campus For Winter Break With Box Of Condoms Still Unopened

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

DONLON HALL—Per sources close to the situation, the bulk-sized box of condoms purchased in August by freshman Isaac Moore at a Costco remained completely unused at the onset of winter break three months later. “When I first moved in, he showed me the box of rubbers almost immediately and asked me if I thought he’d…

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