Student Returning Home For Thanksgiving Horrified by Unmistakable Signs That Parents Have Managed to Rekindle Long-Dead Sex Life in Their Absence
BLOOMFIELD, NJ — As students flocked to their hometowns in anticipation of Thanksgiving break, freshman Noah Yearwood was met with the horrifying discovery that his father is once again rearranging his mother’s guts. “Ever since I got home, my dad has been walking into the kitchen whistling every morning. I don’t normally think anything of…