Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information

OLIN LIBRARY—In the midst of her treacherous slog through a mandatory 82-page reading, Elaine Sanders ’28 spotted a light at the end of the tunnel. 

“It was a chart- nay, a graph that took up nearly a whole page-and-a-half. It was awesome. I let my eyes glaze over for a minute as I gleefully scrolled to see the extent of my respite,” exclaimed a tearful Sanders. “Everyone knows that graphs don’t count. It’s not just graphs, either. Pictures, long quotes, footnotes: I legally don’t have to read it if it’s not in paragraph format.” 

“I assign readings with graphs with such titles as ‘The Only Information You Need to Know From this Reading’ and ‘A Complete List of All The Prelim Questions.” Stated Elaine’s Professor, rubbing his hands together manically. “The pictures in the reading are just the front and back of my credit card. I don’t give a fuck.” 

At press time, Elaine was seen pre-enrolling in STSCI 5990: Advanced Visualization and Data Modeling in hopes of an easy A.