CORNELL HEALTH— In the throes of a bleak and frigid January, Cornell’s population is, as always, seeking relief from the effects of seasonal depression. Vitamin D supplements, although their effectiveness as an antidepressant is contested, are one popular and accessible countermeasure to the inescapable darkness of the winter months. Unfortunately, experts warn that dietary supplementation can do little in the face of the inescapable darkness blotting out our future.
“Scientific evidence suggests a correlation between Vitamin D deficiency and Seasonal Affective Disorder,” explained Dr. Ray Singh, a physician. “Nonetheless, it is uncertain that taking these supplements can relieve symptoms of depression, and entirely unlikely that taking them will stop the rising tide of fascism in America and around the world.”
Dr. Singh and his peers agree that, while individual choices can help to safeguard mental health alongside natural, seasonal rhythms, addressing such issues as systemic global injustice, impending climate catastrophe, and the stripping of personal freedoms from women, immigrants and queer people is somewhat more difficult. “If only they sold a pill version of the systematic dismantling of neoliberal capitalism,” lamented Eleanor Park ‘25.
Some of Dr. Singh’s more jaded colleagues have begun prescribing their patients a twice-daily dose of slumping down in a corner, covering their ears, squeezing their eyes shut, and ignoring everything terrible happening around them. Course management in the Dyson school has informed its students that participation in this treatment is cross-listed with AEM 3205: Ethics in Business and Organizations.