GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Professor James was happy to announce in his class on Friday that “all class materials are included in CAMP.” He was, of course, mere moments away from making each and every student pay $75 for his textbook, Historiography of Antidisestablishmentarianism in Bovine Bookshelves Across Diasporic Communities.
His new book, which fills a critical research gap in the notoriously underfunded quasi-historical cattle-inhabited book structure studies beyond borders, cannot be found online and is required for the course.
Some students expressed concern over the professor’s blatant flouting of the CAMP agreement. “I took this class because I wanted to become more aware of the diverse narratives surrounding the politics of shelf-like spaces beyond its typical contexts,” remarked Charlotte Johnson ‘27. “Now I either have to Venmo Prof James $75 or harass the Cornell Store into ordering 10 copies of this textbook.”
When pressed about this egregious violation of the CAMP agreement, James grew defensive. “It’s appalling that historiographers of ledges and shelving, particularly those operating in non-human, overtly anciently political spaces, have to fight to be paid our worth. I mean, we’re starving artists. And CAMP will just scan virtual copies. But to fully immerse yourself in the illuminating past of mantelpieces that cloven-hoofed, ruminant mammals have occupied worldwide, you need to feel, not just look at a screen.”
Luckily, the median student in past iterations of this course have been able to squeak by with an A+ without doing any of the reading.
