COLLEGETOWN—Last week, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Four days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Two days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Yesterday, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown.
The most recent addition, Not Your Average Boba Cafe, is located next to a boba cafe, and underneath another boba cafe. Cornell students, eager for boba cafe, can hardly contain their excitement about boba cafe.
“I was getting worried that I would have to walk twenty steps to get my milk tea fix,” Dina Huff ‘27 said. “Now, I only have to walk four!” she added, referring to the new boba cafe obstructing the fire escape of her apartment.
Basic math dictates that the more boba cafe you have, the better. Nico Kennedy ‘28, a math major who loves boba cafe, can hardly contain his excitement.
“It’s great to have so many options,” Kennedy said. “I mean, where else can you get boba cafe, and boba cafe, and boba cafe, and boba cafe, and boba cafe?”
Ithaca is quickly becoming the New York City of boba cafe, in that you can get all flavors of boba cafe within a two-mile radius, and also that it is cold outside.
“Yesterday, I had Taiwanese bubble tea, Thai milk tea, and American-style boba all in one day,” said Catherine Walsh ‘28, with pearls spilling out of her mouth. “How’s that for diversity?”
Critics of Collegetown’s boba-centric development plan maintain that the neighborhood needs “more real food” and that “you can’t eat boba for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
Fortunately, boba cafes like Boba4Breakfast, Boba (And Lunch, Too!), and BobaDinner are slated to open as soon as five minutes from now.
