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Thursday, October 15, 2026
Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush
“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood
Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall
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Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”
“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush
“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood
Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

5 hours ago5 hours ago

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

1 day ago1 day ago

“Yeah I Was in the Hood,” Says Rich White Biology Student Misleadingly Talking About Fume Hood

6 days ago6 days ago

Inconsiderate Asshole With No Concept of Personal Space Sits Within 5 Seats of You in Lecture Hall

1 week ago1 week ago

Inhabitants of Local Valley Starting to Regret Construction of Hole-in-the-wall Restaurant in Hydroelectric Dam

1 week ago1 week ago
matty van hooty

Tompkins County DA Relieved to Go Back to Dismissing Other Cases

1 week ago1 week ago

Kotlikoff Also Wondering What Action Cornell Administration Will Take

1 week ago1 week ago

Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
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Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

Nooz Staff1 year ago1 year ago02 mins

LIBE CAFE—The University’s switch from Starbucks to La Colombe this semester was seen as a resounding success for the local labor movement, and a devastating defeat for any fucking idiot with English as their first language. One such dumbass, Tom Hall ‘27, is having an especially difficult time nailing down the new cafe’s pronunciation. “I…

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  • Collegetown

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

Nooz Staff1 year ago1 year ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN—Last week, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Four days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Two days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Yesterday, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. The most recent addition, Not Your Average Boba Cafe, is located next to a boba cafe, and underneath…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Dining Ranked Tenth in the Nation with Rusty’s Cafe, Fifth in the Nation Without

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY—Once again, Cornell students can proudly claim they have access to one of the best dining programs across the nation. The university marked a special case for the Princeton Review’s Great Campus Food ranking list, qualifying as tenth in the nation with the inclusion of Rusty’s Cafe and fifth in the nation without.  A…

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