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Tuesday, September 1, 2026
Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
Kotlikoff Returns With Slightly More Tank-Like Car
Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
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Dank Puddle Reaches Critical Mass Seconds Before TCAT Plows Through
Kotlikoff Returns With Slightly More Tank-Like Car
Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

11 months ago11 months ago

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

11 months ago6 months ago

Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

11 months ago11 months ago

Graph Theory Professor Planning Trip to North Campus Stumped by Odd Number of Bridges

11 months ago11 months ago

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

11 months ago

ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

12 months ago11 months ago

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

12 months ago12 months ago

18-Year-Old’s Passion for Synergy Really Comes Through in Club Application

12 months ago12 months ago
guy yawning

Collegetown Housewarming Party Lukewarm at Best

12 months ago12 months ago

Student in Suit Evaluates, Judges Slightly Younger Student in Suit

12 months ago12 months ago
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Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

Nooz Staff11 months ago11 months ago02 mins

LIBE CAFE—The University’s switch from Starbucks to La Colombe this semester was seen as a resounding success for the local labor movement, and a devastating defeat for any fucking idiot with English as their first language. One such dumbass, Tom Hall ‘27, is having an especially difficult time nailing down the new cafe’s pronunciation. “I…

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  • Collegetown

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

Nooz Staff12 months ago12 months ago02 mins

COLLEGETOWN—Last week, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Four days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Two days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Yesterday, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. The most recent addition, Not Your Average Boba Cafe, is located next to a boba cafe, and underneath…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Dining Ranked Tenth in the Nation with Rusty’s Cafe, Fifth in the Nation Without

Nooz Staff5 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY—Once again, Cornell students can proudly claim they have access to one of the best dining programs across the nation. The university marked a special case for the Princeton Review’s Great Campus Food ranking list, qualifying as tenth in the nation with the inclusion of Rusty’s Cafe and fifth in the nation without.  A…

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