Skip to content
November 1, 2025
  • Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be
  • Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint
  • Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It
  • Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • “Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Uh oh! Amelia Bedelia-like Friend to Bring “Hand-Stuffed Turkey” to Friendsgiving

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Campus Bugs Rejoice, Gather At Ho Plaza Light Fixtures

    12 months ago12 months ago
  • Home
  • 2025
  • October
  • 29

October 29, 2025

  • Classes
  • Student Life

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

Nooz Staff3 days ago3 days ago02 mins

URIS LIBRARY—Despite increasingly unsubtle attempts to temper expectations for an upcoming group presentation, straight-A classmate Ava Hoffman ‘28 still hasn’t taken the fucking hint. “I don’t think this is going to be graded too harshly,” said Gavin Wu ‘27, who knew he was completely fucked when Hoffman created a group chat three weeks before the…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2025. Powered By BlazeThemes.