URIS LIBRARY—Despite increasingly unsubtle attempts to temper expectations for an upcoming group presentation, straight-A classmate Ava Hoffman ‘28 still hasn’t taken the fucking hint.
“I don’t think this is going to be graded too harshly,” said Gavin Wu ‘27, who knew he was completely fucked when Hoffman created a group chat three weeks before the deadline. “I’m really not worried at all.”
“Let’s finish the PowerPoint by Sunday so that the TA can give us feedback before we present,” said grade-grubbing Hoffman. Wu responded that he was feeling sick and couldn’t work over the weekend, but the slides looked pretty fucking decent as-is and the project was only worth 25 percent of their grade anyway.
Hoffman, who really needs to just chill the fuck out, later suggested that the group run through the presentation to ensure they stayed within the time limit. “I mean, the script is basically right there in the slideshow,” said Olivia Dodson ‘28, adding that she already practiced the speech in her head, which only took about three minutes. “If we rehearse too much it’ll just sound robotic, y’know?”
Following the professor’s comments that their attention to detail and quality of research could have been a lot better, Wu and Dodson agreed that it could have been a lot fucking worse, too.
