MORRISON DINING—Last week, a feasting legend was immortalized in the rafters of Morrison Dining as Clark Ewers (5’11”, 342 lbs) was officially inducted into the Dining Hall of Fame (DHOF).
Ewers’ illustrious career includes two MVP (Most Valuable Porker) awards, seven First Team All-Plump selections, a Rookie Eater of the Year title, and the coveted All-You-Can-Eat All-Star Feast MVP.
The induction ceremony—scheduled strategically between the lunch and dinner rushes—featured a highlight reel of Ewers’ greatest moments: the time he single-handedly caused the Morrison Dining water machines to collapse under “unprecedented demand,” his historic 14-plate performance at Okenshields in Fall 2024, and, of course, his legendary breakfast during the 2022 Feasting Conference Finals, dubbed by fans as simply “The Meal.”
Students watched in reverent silence, snapping photos as Ewers waddled to the Halal station to deliver his remarks.
“I want to thank my coaches, my nutritionist, and the Morrison staff for never cutting me off, no matter how many plates I stacked,” Ewers said, his voice shaking with emotion and light-to-moderate meat sweats.
Though retired from professional competitive eating, Ewers reassured fans that he remains committed to “honoring the game that gave so much to him” by fully exploiting the unlimited meal swipes included with his dining plan.
