Thursday, October 1, 2026
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email

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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

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