Trump: ABC Reporter Lucky She Not Sawed Up in Saudi Embassy

WASHINGTON, DC—During an Oval Office press conference with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman last week, President Trump fired back at a journalist’s question about the Middle Eastern leader’s role in the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi.

“You’re mentioning somebody that was extremely controversial,” Trump replied, referring to Khashoggi. “A lot of people didn’t like that gentleman that you’re talking about. And, quite frankly, a lot of people don’t like you and the fake news you push at ABC. Your ratings are terrible, you know that? Horrible things have happened to people who are so controversial. Whether you like phony reporters or don’t like them, things happen, but he [Crown Prince Mohammed] knew nothing about it, and neither would I, if it happened again, and we can leave it at that. You don’t have to embarrass our guest by asking a question like that.”

Trump went on to praise the Saudi leader for his country’s decision to invest in American manufacturing. “You know, they make such beautiful bone saws in Saudi Arabia. Bone saws are so hot over there, and they’re investing so much in our country now, that we’ll be able to make these tremendous saws here in America,” he said, wielding a bloodied instrument the Crown Prince called “a shining example of Saudi craftsmanship.”

When pressed to clarify the president’s comments, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated, “This rhetoric is ridiculous and insulting, but President Trump is tough enough to listen to his critics. Anyone with questions about the Saudis is welcome to attend tonight’s reception at their embassy.”

At press time, the White House had also extended embassy invitations to journalists interested in topics including corruption, the judiciary, and Trump’s relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.