WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Student Assembly Freshman Representative Maria Solis ‘21 is reportedly deciding between looking to identify and implement solutions that fight all forms of racism and bigotry on campus, or to lobby for a 7% increase in forks at Robert Purcell Marketplace Eatery. “Both issues are critically and equally important to the freshman class,” said…
Terrorizing all who enter the rooms of zombie caution tape and spooky tombstones, the meatloaf is still the scariest thing in Cornell’s dining halls, despite the decorations. “The Halloween stuff is, like, whatever. But when I got the meatloaf I legit screamed,” commented Bryan Wang, shivering at the thought of ingesting the flavorless beef bricks….
COLLEGETOWN – Following the exciting news of the reopening of Rulloff’s, new owner Gregar Brous announced today that the Collegetown establishment would promptly close again on Thursday. “We already have a lot on our plate with Collegetown Bagels and Agava. You didn’t really think we were bringing back Rulloff’s forever, did you?” said Brous, while…
ITHACA, NY – Cornell president David Skorton has announced a new policy change that is likely to affect life on campus. Professors will now be required to offer make-up exams during the first week of the finals period, available to all students, with or without a valid excuse. The move comes after many years of…
Now I’m not one to get up on a high horse and piously judge the actions or interests of others, but some things really bother me. When something is deliberately rude, I can’t help but notice it and take it a little personally. Take, for example, what happened last week during my film class. It’s…
DAILY SUN HEADQUARTERS—In honor of the paper’s 139th anniversary, this week The Cornell Daily Sun re-published its first ever op-ed, titled “In Defense Of Slavery.” Written by Peter Whitman ‘1884, a then-freshman from Alabama, the op-ed describes slavery as “not that bad” and the Civil War as “just a bunch of Republicans getting offended over…
BAKER LAB — Dr. William Dichtel was awarded the highly prestigious MacArthur “Genius Award” Fellowship when he became the first person to pass an orgo prelim that he himself gave to his students. When asked about how he earned the $625,000 recognition, Dichtel replied “I studied for a few hours, but at the end of…
WILLARD STRAIGHT THE HALL — Chance the Rapper will perform at this year’s Slope Day concert, announced Slope Day Programming Board the Committee, along with Magic! the Reggae Fusion Band as the opening act. The decision has been generally well-received by students of Cornell the University, who will attend Slope Day on May 7, 2015…
Hey Cornell Daily Sun, You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a perfectly natural problem that happens to every publication with a functional web presence. You just couldn’t get it up. Look, we get it, you had a long day, you’re under a lot of stress from all that reporting you’ve been doing, and…
BAKER LAB—A review by Cornell chemistry faculty revealed that only 23% of the department’s stringent safety protocols would be in place were it not for noted buffoon Greg ‘07. “Without Greg, Cornell chemistry would look dramatically different—well, better—than it does now,” said lead author Professor Sasha Williamson. “He was a true trailblazer. By that, I…
