WILLARD STRAIGHT — In response to mounting calls for increased diversity on the Student Assembly, an open forum was hosted Wednesday to address the SA’s lack of bovine members from the Cornell Dairy. “I think it’s important that we have this discussion,” said At-Large Representative Jimmy Anderson ‘17, “The dairy cows are such an integral…
HO PLAZA—The Cornell University Police Department is currently investigating a reported hit-and-run that left one vehicle injured Friday evening. Investigators suspect a stoplight was responsible for the collision. Officers responding to the incident noted significant damage to the hood and windshield of the victim. AAA Roadside Assistance administered first aid to the wounded vehicle, which…
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Last week, the Student Assembly (allegedly called the ‘Student Governance Assembly’) debated a resolution that could completely upend the relationship the organization has with Cornell’s leadership and student body. Resolution 22, “Making Student Assembly competent,” was extensively debated at an Assembly meeting last week. It includes such clauses as “Assembly members must read…
After scrolling through the Instagram pages of all candidates, CU Nooz’s Editorial Team believes that no presidential candidate demonstrates the corruption and lack of respect necessary to fully represent the institutional values of this paper: power and relentless greed. Cornell stands at a precipice. We’re not sure why, or how to fix it, but the…
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—On May 1st, with Slope Day on the horizon, Cornell Dining launched their food ticket pre-sale at select locations across campus. Many students lined up at Okenshields to swipe in for their usual dinners, but one student, Jonah Kesky ‘26, was on a different mission. “I remember he was the first person in…
DAY HALL—Much to students’ chagrin, sources confirmed that Vice President for Student & Campus Life Ryan Lombardi had seen his own shadow, an event purported to foreshadow an additional three weeks of prelim season in Cornell folklore. “It’s disheartening, to say the least,” said Melanie Bush ‘24. “Some people say that looking to a university…
TEAGLE HALL—Despite last spring and this fall’s season cancellations and a history of subpar performances from some varsity teams, Cornell Athletics finally received positive news from a number of their athletes last week. “I was disappointed to hear that we’d be facing the same fate as spring sports with our season being cancelled. Another year…
LYNAH RINK- During the annual practice of Cornell’s most oceanic tradition, Sonia Steiner’s ’25 increasingly strange behavior caught the attention of her friends. “It started out normal, like, she insisted we get to Lynah an hour early so she could get as close to the ice as possible.” Reported Kirsten Gale ’25 “Sure, I thought,…
In a story akin to classic Hans Christian Andersen folklore, Mayor Svante Myrick reportedly began his week by strolling nude throughout the streets of Ithaca. Myrick was promptly arrested for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. “I just figured no one would be around over break. I thought everyone went home for vacation.” said Myrick. At…
ITHACA, NY—Sunday’s meeting of the Cornell Terror Society proved lively and optimistic as members discussed this weekend’s promising events in Iran. “This was our most active meeting in months,” said CTS president Ethan Melander ‘26. “Everyone was really pumped to hear the news. We’ve seen how these sorts of interventions play out—the possibilities for future…
