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October 1, 2025
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  • Eric Adams Drops Out of NYC Mayoral Race, Excited to Pursue Corruption in Other Aspects of Public Service

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  • Ben Shapiro Stirs Up Hydrophobic Allegations After Swallowing Motor Oil to Make Voice Extra Squeaky

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Student Who Dreams of Being an Investment Banker Sort Knows What “Leverage” Means

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

Local Investment Banker-in-the-making Kent Gonzalez allegedly sort of knows what the word “leverage” means. “It has to do with debt, I know that. And ‘leverage’ sounds like ‘lever’, which you use to balance something, so it’s like balancing the books with debt, right?” says Kent Gonzalez, the student who dreams of one day working for…

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Wines Class Cancelled After Student Urinates on Professor

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

In  the wake of a recent mishap, Introduction to Wines has been cancelled until further notice. This move follows an incident from last Wednesday’s lecture, in which a disgruntled and inebriated student urinated on Professor Grabenstein’s leg after learning that he failed an exam. The student, whose name has yet to be released, is currently being…

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