In a story akin to classic Hans Christian Andersen folklore, Mayor Svante Myrick reportedly began his week by strolling nude throughout the streets of Ithaca. Myrick was promptly arrested for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. “I just figured no one would be around over break. I thought everyone went home for vacation.” said Myrick. At…
COLLEGETOWN–Last Saturday, advanced physical and chemical engineering principles of mechanics and electronics major Sean Lite ‘23 spent four hours changing the dead lightbulb above his bed. “I’ve never been very ‘electrically motivated,’” explained Lite. “But I really thought this would be simple. You just yank the bulb out with a good amount of force, and…
One of my favorite elements of life at Cornell is the diversity of subjects one can pursue. I’ve learned about so many career options that I never even knew existed before enrolling–and the kinds of suckers who go into them. Even the most seemingly humdrum and soul-sucking professions—those jobs that I could never morally compromise…
SCHOELLKOPF FIELD—In a closed door meeting last Thursday prior to Cornell Football’s 8-14 homecoming loss to Georgetown, several of the team’s seniors hatched a plan to lose the game on purpose. “This is our last chance to play a homecoming football game in front of our classmates,” said Cornerback Erik Urbon ‘20, “It wouldn’t feel…
URIS HALL—This morning, during the 10:10 lecture for Intro to Cognitive Science, a single student sacrificed his class grade for a piece of pure comedy gold: Jamie McCannon ‘19 answered C on a True/False iClicker question, bringing the lecture hall to its knees in laughs. “I never thought there could be so much beauty in…
CALL AUDITORIUM – Swaying back and forth while fondly recalling a simpler time before the mainstream media takedown of the conservative party, former Georgia Republican representative Newt Gingrich sat in an old creaky rocking chair for the entirety of his lecture at Cornell. “Free speech on liberal college campuses is under attack! Why, when I…
MCGRAW HALL— In response to the annual pardoning of one lucky turkey for the Thanksgiving holiday, plucky political group “Cornell Republicans” released a seven page Instagram post calling for a reneging on the tradition. “This practice runs afoul of the very ideals on which this glorious nation was founded,” explained Zachary Harker ‘23, club president….
By Professor Margaret Ellipson, ENGL 2810 Creative Writing When all of you students walk through the door each morning, I give you the opportunity to look deep into yourself. For the years I have taught this class, the students and I, together, have spent every Monday and Wednesday from 10:10 to 11:00 turning the mundane…
DAILY SUN HEADQUARTERS—The question was posed to a cohort of Daily Sun Editors on their last day of Kindergarten last week: What do you want to be when you grow up? The bright-eyed students, fresh out of their lessons about prepositions, contemplated this question. The bunch reportedly said that they “wanted to be like those…
COLLEGETOWN—After four of the most invigorating days of his life, Angelo Larusso ‘20 has returned to a snowy Ithaca campus a new man. “My perspective completely changed over the nearly three-quarters of a week I was away,” Larusso said, his face now illuminated by a sun-kissed glow and his hair a millimeter longer. “The snow,…
