BARTON HALL—Following last week’s protests at Cornell’s annual campus-wide career fair, the administration has taken swift action to appease the student body: The invitation list at the rescheduled event has been amended to include only the friendly, wholesome defense contractors. Despite the disruption, students are still looking forward to the event. “I’m excited to talk…
SCHOELLKOPF FIELD—Unbeknownst to all but the Daily Sun’s four dedicated readers, Cornell Football suffered a loss last Saturday in their opening match against Colgate University. However, the team was “comforted” by the “complete lack of interest or attention from the student body,” said head coach Dan Swanstrom. As a result, players were dismayed to learn…
NEW YORK, NY—The Trump administration’s executive order stripping funds from PBS has had dire consequences for the stars of one of public television’s most popular programs. The cast of Sesame Street was blindsided by the announcement, and many are now struggling to make ends meet. “Me not know what to do. When me was younger,…
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Citing the immense cliffhangers and high stakes in the wake of last season, the entire Medieval Studies department is going absolutely fucking mental for the Game of Thrones season 8 premiere. Omar Alberen ‘20, a Medieval Studies major, has been in full Night’s Watch regalia for weeks and expects this season to be…
By Sam Nadell, Co-Editor-in-Chief of CU Nooz Having been a writer for CU Nooz for the past three years, I’ve noticed that, whether we like it or not, the Daily Sun and CU Nooz have been in a little bit of competition. Let me just start by saying that to even be in competition with…
MORRISON HALL — Administrators in the Department of Animal Science have officially announced that ANSC 3240: Introduction to Hog Wranglin’ will be offered to CALS students as part of the 2015 Fall curriculum. The course will expose undergraduates to the intricacies of a good ol’ fashioned swine tussle while emphasizing the core principles of the…
Over the weekend university officials in the Undergraduate Admissions Office and the Office of Academic Diversity Initiatives revealed their new method of admitting students to create a class that is “100% diverse”. The new admissions scheme, starting with the Class of 2018, aims to make the incoming student body exactly mirror the racial, geographic, and economic…
Edging out Plant Sciences by 40 votes, the winner of the second annual Major Cornell Major Tournament is Food Sciences! Out of the top 64 of the many majors at Cornell, Food Sciences is crowned the absolute toppest. Thank you to everyone who participated in this tournament. Food Sciences nerds have won three articles about…
STEWART AVE—Beset with an infestation the likes of which have not been seen since the Old Testament, Collegetown resident Andrew Blum ‘24 took to the internet to voice his frustrations. While Blum’s apartment is both spacious and luxurious, especially when compared to other Collegetown rentals, the veritable menagerie of non-human residents forced him to lower…
DAY HALL – President Elizabeth Garrett announced today that Cornell University would no longer strive to achieve complete survival of the human species by 2035, two years after former president David Skorton established action to keep people mostly alive by the same year. “We believe that it is not in our best interest at this…
