Bars – CU Nooz

Headlines

Cornell Christian Club Turns Rain into Wine Tour
2 days ago2 days ago
Kotlikoff Carefully Maneuvers Around Key Detail at Day Hall Incident
1 week ago1 week ago
“I Overcame a Lot of Diversity to be Here,” Says White Dude in Discussion Section
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President
12 months ago12 months ago
In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power
1 year ago1 year ago
L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks
1 year ago1 year ago

OP-ED: I Finally Got Drunk Enough to Carry The Fwuffy Wuffy Skunk Back to My Dorm

Nooz Staff5 years ago04 mins

I had just begun the godforsaken journey up Eddy street back toward North Campus, my arms slung over the shoulders of my marginally less drunk friends and my feet dragging uselessly behind, when I noticed what appeared to be a Club Penguin puffle waddling beside us in the brush. “Boys, boys,” I whispered, “You see…

Reunited Sophomore Not Telling Friends His Parents Say Hi

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

FLATIRON DISTRICT, NYC — After weeks of isolation, Sam Traynor ’19, who was finally reunited with his Cornell friends for a night of debauchery, neglected to tell everyone his parents say ‘hi.’ “How’s that Jimmy, Johnny, boy doing? The engineer. Tell that sharp young gentleman I say hi,” Mr. Traynor said of the 20 year…