Bars – CU Nooz

Headlines

OP-ED: Fuck, Time to Scrap That “Worker’s Rights” Theme Year
2 years ago2 years ago
Freshman from England Used to Eating Inedible Food
2 years ago2 years ago
Overachievers? Couple in The Back of Hideaway Already Busy Making Double Legacies
3 years ago3 years ago
Qatar Campus To Celebrate ‘Limit of Expression’ Year
3 years ago5 months ago
OP-ED: Dear Freshmen, that Twenty-Person O-Week Friend Group is Much Cooler Than You and If You Don’t Have Best Friends Yet, Just Give Up Trying
3 years ago5 months ago
Freshman Patiently Waiting to Cross College Ave Gets Hit by Car Anyway
3 years ago5 months ago

OP-ED: I Finally Got Drunk Enough to Carry The Fwuffy Wuffy Skunk Back to My Dorm

Nooz Staff5 years ago04 mins

I had just begun the godforsaken journey up Eddy street back toward North Campus, my arms slung over the shoulders of my marginally less drunk friends and my feet dragging uselessly behind, when I noticed what appeared to be a Club Penguin puffle waddling beside us in the brush. “Boys, boys,” I whispered, “You see…

Reunited Sophomore Not Telling Friends His Parents Say Hi

Nooz Staff10 years ago02 mins

FLATIRON DISTRICT, NYC — After weeks of isolation, Sam Traynor ’19, who was finally reunited with his Cornell friends for a night of debauchery, neglected to tell everyone his parents say ‘hi.’ “How’s that Jimmy, Johnny, boy doing? The engineer. Tell that sharp young gentleman I say hi,” Mr. Traynor said of the 20 year…