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Tuesday, November 10, 2026
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
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Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student
Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus

7 hours ago7 hours ago

Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture

1 day ago1 day ago

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

5 days ago4 days ago

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

6 days ago6 days ago

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

6 days ago6 days ago

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

1 week ago1 week ago

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

1 week ago1 week ago

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

12 months ago9 months ago

Fun Aunt Put Marshmallows in Hers

12 months ago12 months ago

“Just Happy to Help”: Dud Brother Unloads Dishwasher

12 months ago12 months ago
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Martha Pollack Clarifies Fall Break Only Meant for Haircuts

Nooz Staff7 years ago01 mins

DAY HALL—In a Friday morning press conference, University President Martha Pollack addressed the student body to reaffirm that the intended purpose of Fall Break is for students to go back home to get a haircut. “I’ve overheard students discussing plans to take trips to Montréal, visit friends at other colleges, or stay on campus to…

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  • Cornell

CU Nooz’s List of Best Spring Break Destinations and Best Places to Escape Your Past

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

With Spring break coming up next week, let’s take a look at the best places to vacation with your friends. Or, if you’re trying to escape your troubled past at all costs, we included some places that are good for that, too. Cancun, Mexico – With miles of gorgeous beaches, stunning scenery, and friendly locals,…

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  • Uncategorized

Intolerable Parents Paying Entire Tuition

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

LATHAM, MA – After several days at home for break, Cornell sophomore Tina Nelson has determined that her parents, who are paying for her entire college tuition, are utterly and totally unbearable. “Mom never shuts up about her yoga class, and Dad doesn’t know how to work any piece of technology and has to ask…

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  • Cornell

Students Return to Desperately Clawing for Another Break

Nooz Staff12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA — Thousands of Cornell students returned to campus this week to begin their Spring semester classes and to rekindle their undying impatience for a recess from school. After the month-long Winter break, students are feeling reinvigorated for the new semester’s soul-sucking agony between periods of academic inactivity. “It’s great to be back on campus!”…

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  • Cornell

Freshmen Definitely Enjoyed Staying on Campus for Thanksgiving

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

MARY DONLON HALL—While the vast majority of students visited home over Thanksgiving Break, reports confirm that Brian O’Connor (ILR ’18) had a great time staying in his quiet, lonely dorm the past five days. “It probably would’ve been really really nice spend time with my parents, or my dog, or my girlfriend of three years….

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