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April 2, 2026
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  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    11 months ago
  • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker

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cafes

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Dumb Friend Finds New Way to Pronounce La Colombe

Nooz Staff6 months ago6 months ago03 mins

LIBE CAFE—The University’s switch from Starbucks to La Colombe this semester was seen as a resounding success for the local labor movement, and a devastating defeat for any fucking idiot with English as their first language. One such dumbass, Tom Hall ‘27, is having an especially difficult time nailing down the new cafe’s pronunciation. “I…

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  • Collegetown

Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

Nooz Staff7 months ago7 months ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN—Last week, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Four days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Two days ago, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. Yesterday, a new boba cafe opened in Collegetown. The most recent addition, Not Your Average Boba Cafe, is located next to a boba cafe, and underneath…

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  • Uncategorized

Cornell Dining Ranked Tenth in the Nation with Rusty’s Cafe, Fifth in the Nation Without

Nooz Staff4 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY—Once again, Cornell students can proudly claim they have access to one of the best dining programs across the nation. The university marked a special case for the Princeton Review’s Great Campus Food ranking list, qualifying as tenth in the nation with the inclusion of Rusty’s Cafe and fifth in the nation without.  A…

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