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November 16, 2025
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal
  • E-Scooter Going Right, No, Left, No—
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  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • E-Scooter Going Right, No, Left, No—

    1 week ago
  • Roommate From California With Red Horns Sets Thermostat to 1,500 Degrees

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Clif Bar Wrapper Drowns Out Guest Speaker

    1 week ago1 week ago
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  • Class Crush

Class Crush

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Op-Ed: IG Stalking Your Crush Through the Club Account is Normal and Healthy, Actually

Nooz Staff1 week ago1 week ago03 mins

What do you mean? Stalking your crush through your club’s Instagram account is normal and healthy. Love requires sacrifice. That’s why, when I initially needed to find his Instagram, I went through the club account’s followers until I found the person I saw him eating with once through my binoculars. From there, it was pretty…

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  • Classes

Phew! Class Crush Gives Ick Just in Time for Drop Deadline

Nooz Staff2 years ago1 year ago03 mins

URIS HALL—While students across campus methodically scan syllabi for loopholes in preparation for the quickly approaching drop deadline, one particularly picky senior’s decision to drop was based not on an impending prelim whose material went unstudied, but rather the class crush she’d been mildly stalking giving her “the ick.” “I knew we would never work,”…

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