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April 8, 2026
  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture
  • Engineering School Phoenix Rises From the Asbestos
  • “But Promise You Won’t Be Mad If I Tell You?” Slope Day Committee Announces Artist Lineup
  • Club Members Force Feed Students 20 Cold Chicken Sandwiches to Meet Fundraiser Quota
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  • He is Risen! Student Who Spent Spring Break in Alcoholic Stupor Miraculously Attends 9 AM Lecture

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist

    11 months ago
  • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker

    11 months ago11 months ago
  • Circle of Elders Regales Freshmen With Stories of the Before-Times When the Clocktower Was Free

    12 months ago6 months ago
  • Girl Power! Group of Girlies Take Elevator Up to 7th Floor of Olin

    12 months ago12 months ago
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  • Class Crush

Class Crush

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Op-Ed: IG Stalking Your Crush Through the Club Account is Normal and Healthy, Actually

Nooz Staff5 months ago5 months ago03 mins

What do you mean? Stalking your crush through your club’s Instagram account is normal and healthy. Love requires sacrifice. That’s why, when I initially needed to find his Instagram, I went through the club account’s followers until I found the person I saw him eating with once through my binoculars. From there, it was pretty…

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  • Classes

Phew! Class Crush Gives Ick Just in Time for Drop Deadline

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago03 mins

URIS HALL—While students across campus methodically scan syllabi for loopholes in preparation for the quickly approaching drop deadline, one particularly picky senior’s decision to drop was based not on an impending prelim whose material went unstudied, but rather the class crush she’d been mildly stalking giving her “the ick.” “I knew we would never work,”…

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