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November 18, 2025
  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something
  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal
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  • “Gays For Trump” Knew They Were Onto Something

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  • Pitch Black Pilgrimage Back Home From Hopeless Evening Prelim With Exodus of Fellow Screwups Most Camaraderie Your Shriveled Heart Has Felt in Years

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Understaffed TSA Really Digging Deep To Meet Groping Quota

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Nooz Explains: Trump–Kotlikoff Deal

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • E-Scooter Going Right, No, Left, No—

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Cornell Announces All Log Ins Will Require a Signed Permission Form From Mommy

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago02 mins

DAY HALL—In a surprise announcement by the administration this Tuesday, Cornell will  replace Duo Mobile with a permission form to take home to Mommy in its newest efforts in the war on cybercrime. “I think this new system is just lovely,” remarked Kaitlyn McCullough, mother of Xander McCullough ‘23, as she cut up a PB&J…

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“I’m Just Gonna Lay Down for a Bit,” Says Student Changing into Pajamas at Noon

Nooz Staff5 years ago03 mins

COLLEGETOWN—After exiting the first Zoom class of her day, April Woodward ‘22 surprised her roommates by changing into her pajamas and announcing that she was going to have a bit of a lie-down. “It’s not something I do every day,” she said as she turned on her 10-hour “afternoon naps”  Spotify playlist, “but it’s nice…

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