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April 2, 2026
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OP-ED: And I Would’ve Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t for Those Darn Research Ethics

Nooz Staff8 years ago7 years ago02 mins

By Former Professor Brian Wansink After years of being a legendary celebrity in the world of food science research, I was still at the top of my game here at Cornell, basking in the glory of my decades of hard work. Sure, I fudged a few numbers here and there, and may or may not…

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Food Science Major Desperately Looking For New Thing To Milk

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

In an attempt to find the next big viscous drink craze for his thesis, Cornell Food Science major Todd Carmichael ‘18 has been desperately looking for a new thing to milk. “I mean, people have been milking cows, goats, even various nuts. There’s not many things left for a guy like me to milk around…

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Food Science Professor Celebrated For Finally Defining “Savory”

Nooz Staff8 years ago02 mins

STOCKING HALL— Earlier this week, Food Science Professor Rick Touche was lauded for finally nailing down the definition of the word “savory.” This breakthrough was met with relief from billions of food eaters across the globe who have long struggled to explain what they’re tasting. “His definition is ingenious: broad, but not too broad. Specific,…

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