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Thursday, October 1, 2026
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

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Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

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Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

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Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

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Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

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Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

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OP-ED: And I Would’ve Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t for Those Darn Research Ethics

Nooz Staff8 years ago8 years ago01 mins

By Former Professor Brian Wansink After years of being a legendary celebrity in the world of food science research, I was still at the top of my game here at Cornell, basking in the glory of my decades of hard work. Sure, I fudged a few numbers here and there, and may or may not…

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Food Science Major Desperately Looking For New Thing To Milk

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

In an attempt to find the next big viscous drink craze for his thesis, Cornell Food Science major Todd Carmichael ‘18 has been desperately looking for a new thing to milk. “I mean, people have been milking cows, goats, even various nuts. There’s not many things left for a guy like me to milk around…

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Food Science Professor Celebrated For Finally Defining “Savory”

Nooz Staff8 years ago01 mins

STOCKING HALL— Earlier this week, Food Science Professor Rick Touche was lauded for finally nailing down the definition of the word “savory.” This breakthrough was met with relief from billions of food eaters across the globe who have long struggled to explain what they’re tasting. “His definition is ingenious: broad, but not too broad. Specific,…

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