god – CU Nooz

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FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy”
12 months ago12 months ago
“If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut
12 months ago12 months ago
OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool
12 months ago12 months ago
Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information
12 months ago12 months ago
Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future
12 months ago12 months ago
Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group
2 years ago2 years ago

Breaking: The Lord Our God to Require Two-Factor Authentication to Enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago02 mins

PEARLY GATES–Accompanied by a choir of seraphim, the Ruler of the Universe broke over two thousand years of silence to announce that Duo Mobile will now be required to attain eternal paradise. “For too long, admittance to heaven or hell has depended on arbitrary and outdated criteria, such as inherent goodness, being gay, or doing…

OP-ED: This Thanksgiving, I’d Like to Thank God For Blessing Me With Such a Fat Juicy Pussy

Nooz Staff5 years ago5 years ago02 mins

Thanksgiving is a day in which friends and family give their thanks for all that they are grateful for. This year, I plan on expressing a huge thank you to God for gifting me with an invaluable asset: a succulent, sizable, stank-ass pussy. When forging me from his flesh, God decided to direct any weight…