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Thursday, October 1, 2026
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
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Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer
Your Friend Who Happens to Have a Car is Actually Funniest, Coolest, Most Attractive Person Ever
Kotlikoff Frustrated by Inability to Send Nationwide Email
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

3 hours ago3 hours ago

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

11 months ago11 months ago

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

11 months ago11 months ago

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

11 months ago11 months ago

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

11 months ago11 months ago

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

11 months ago11 months ago

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

11 months ago11 months ago

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

12 months ago

Pre-Annotated Library Book Tells Student Exactly What Important

12 months ago7 months ago

Professor Getting All Excited About Life’s Work Again

12 months ago12 months ago
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Summer

  • Cornell

Student Desperate for Non-School-Related Excuse for Not Keeping Up On What’s Happening In Iraq

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, NY- Rising Junior Gabriela Ramos has entered a state of panic caused by her inability to reasonably justify the fact that she knows nothing about the current tense state of affairs in the Middle-Eastern country of Iraq. “During the academic year, I can usually brush off things like this by saying I’m too…

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  • Cornell

Cornell Daily Sun Posts Summer Article in Desperate Plea for Attention

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

ITHACA- In a move many are calling “pathetic” and “appalling,” the Cornell Daily Sun has posted an article to its website despite classes being out of session for the summer. “I never thought the paper would stoop this low,” said former Sun reader Jeremy Evans ’17, who now says he is embarrassed to have once…

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