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April 22, 2026
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Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

Nooz Staff1 month ago1 month ago02 mins

HO PLAZA—A. Cornellius III, a longtime Central Campus resident and Eastern Gray Squirrel, vehemently denied accusations that he was caught jeering and chittering derisively at students following the first round of prelims last week. “I just happen to be gathering nuts at a rate that’s not two standard deviations under the median,” he chirped. “Maybe…

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