FLORA ROSE HOUSE—Only a few weeks into the school year, the mirror of Rose suite 23 is already tired of hearing the positive affirmations that new suite resident and esteemed Cornell Daily Sun journalist recites every morning. The mirror reports being particularly annoyed by phrases such as, “I am a unique, talented writer,” “we will have competent editors this semester,” and “I know my ABCs.”
The mirror has also borne witness to the journalist coming home to practice her smile for passive-aggressive interviews, as well as her speech about diversity, equity, and inclusion, in which she explains that the Daily Sun strives to include students of all writing capabilities ranging from poor to abysmal.
Indeed, the mirror is in a difficult situation. For the rest of the academic year, it’ll have to fight the increasing urge to yell, “Repeating something doesn’t make it true!” But not all hope is lost. The mirror is not alone in this madness. The shower, too, is tired of this resident, especially after hearing her late-night shower thoughts about niche article ideas like “top 10 favorite study tips.”
