COLLEGETOWN BAGELS— Amidst the busyness of classes and clubs, there’s nothing like a pick-me-up from Collegetown Bagels. Their specialty beverages and easily customizable offerings mean there’s a CTB order for every person’s preference. While students like Claudia Miller ‘28 appreciate this specialization, they perhaps wish it didn’t have to be announced to the whole world.
“A fun Frappuccino was just what I wanted after a really difficult day of studying,” said Miller. “I just felt a little on blast when they said my ‘IBS’ Worst Nightmare for a Rich Prissy Bitch Who Can Afford an Inflationary $11 Pseudo-Milkshake’ was ready at the bar.”
The unabashed announcement system applies across their menu as well. Shane Frasier ‘27 ordered some drinks and food for the group at a happy hour with his friends. He felt slightly misrepresented, however, when the PA system announced they had “Five Greasy Phat Chud Boy sandwiches and a Gargantuan Alcoholism-Core pitcher for Shane”ready for the whole patio to hear.
“Our menu items have to be titled specifically to mitigate confusion at the pick-up counter,” CTB Store Manager Chris Murphy explained. “A large latte could be anyone’s, but you know if you ordered Ooga Booga Cookie Crunch Extravaganza.”
Miller laments that despite the psychological trauma of claiming one’s order at CTB, the specialty offerings are worth it, especially when the bagels themselves are “mediocre as fuck.”
