“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

BAKER LABORATORY—Cornell University is infamous for its competitive culture and weed-out classes. Introductory courses across STEM disciplines are particularly notorious for their cutthroat atmosphere, sporting high failure and drop rates. For many students, being weeded out means reconsidering their major; but for one crabgrass-shaped freshman, it is much deeper than that.

Marshall Grass ‘30 believes that his introductory chemistry courses are “just not an environment that allows [him] to grow to [his] full potential.” After earning an unsatisfactory prelim score, his professor pulled him aside to discuss the possibility of him dropping the course. Grass, standing there with his finger-like clusters of spikelets, was outraged, interpreting being “weeded out” as a hostile attack towards his appearance. 

“This is just blatant disrespect towards Cornell as a literal Ivy League school,” says Grass. He points to Cornell’s founding principle of “Any person, any study,” but criticizes its selective application towards non-crabgrass presenting students. Despite this setback, Grass vows not to end his academic journey here, but rather to adapt and grow from this uprooting experience.