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Friday, November 13, 2026
Ty Dolla $ign Concert Requires No Dollas
“You Look Great!” Claims Friend Refusing to Delete Picture of You Bent Over Crunchy Coughing
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
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Ty Dolla $ign Concert Requires No Dollas
“You Look Great!” Claims Friend Refusing to Delete Picture of You Bent Over Crunchy Coughing
Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus
Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • CU NoozMagazine
    • Spring 2026 Issue
    • Spring 2025 Issue
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
Headlines

Ty Dolla $ign Concert Requires No Dollas

7 hours ago7 hours ago

“You Look Great!” Claims Friend Refusing to Delete Picture of You Bent Over Crunchy Coughing

1 day ago1 day ago

Company Named After Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Scheduled To Offer Coffee Chats on Campus

3 days ago3 days ago

Student Wanting Lap Dance Blocks Middle Seats in Lecture

4 days ago4 days ago

“Why Do Weed-Out Classes Even Exist?” Frowns Crabgrass-Shaped Student

1 week ago1 week ago

Novick’s Fall Menu Still Just Muddy Puddle Water Scooped Around the Back

1 week ago1 week ago

Report: Skepticism Up 60%?

1 week ago1 week ago

Swing Voter Would Vote Blue But Ughhh Trump Is Soooo Relatable When He Starts Going On Tangents About Men’s Bodies

1 week ago1 week ago

Aww! Rhode Island Going to Hold Cute Little Elections, Too

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Trump Administration Questions Whether Black Friday Got There on its Own Merit

12 months ago9 months ago
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October 22, 2026

  • Uncategorized

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

Nooz Staff3 weeks ago3 weeks ago02 mins

During a session last Wednesday, Cornell’s Faculty Senate debated over holding a vote of no confidence in the university’s administration. Throughout the lengthy discussion, however, President Michael Kotlikoff found it extremely difficult to focus on the arguments of the senate members; he had something much more pressing, even explosive, on his mind. Perhaps it was…

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  • Uncategorized

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

Nooz Staff3 weeks ago3 weeks ago02 mins

URIS HALL—When Tommi Phisinger ‘28 sought digestive relief in the second floor Uris Hall  bathroom between lectures, she came to a disturbing realization.  “I went to grab the toilet paper after I completed my business. You know, as one does,” Phisinger confided. “I was disgusted to realize that the toilet paper was so thin, I…

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