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April 2, 2026
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OP-ED: Pwease Mistuh Pwofessuh Don’t Mark Me Absent My Pwivate Pwane Got In Really Really Late Last Night

Nooz Staff12 months ago12 months ago03 mins

A BED WITH A WHITE DUVET—God gives its toughest battles to its stwongest warriors, so obviously I’m like a war hero or something because I had to overcome quite the stwuggle last night. You see, usually Daddy and I waltz right on to Philbert, which is what we named our pwivate jet, but before we…

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