With a flourish, Target Employee of the Month Cathy Peterson proudly set a single gleaming menorah on a far back corner of the store. The Hanukkah section was ready for its big debut. A self-described spokesperson for the Jewish people, Smith dedicates herself to philanthropic pursuits such as these to honor the singular practicing Jew…
“WHAT WOULD THE FOUNDER THINK?!”—This is a common and deeply scathing critique at Cornell; the prospect of disappointing our university’s proud patriarch, our Big Red Daddy, bears undeniable rhetorical strength. Nonetheless, as a leading scholar on the life and times of Ezra Cornell himself, I can say with some certainty that Mr. Cornell would not…
DUFFIELD HALL—Feeling tricked after spending her first few weeks of consulting club membership as a Krispy-Kreme saleswoman instead of practicing insider trading tactics, Emma Nichols ‘27 formulated a strategy to reach her sales quota early. She developed this donut-distributing plan based on advice from her mentor at CCCBD360, who sold out of their stale boxes…
WEST CAMPUS—No self-respecting student would ever dare to eat dinner alone, so all eyes were on Jaden Lewis ‘25 last night at Becker House as he appeared to finish his meal entirely by himself. Patrons stared at the pathetic nobody in a mixture of pity and disgust as he filled his plate and slowly meandered…
BAKER FLAGPOLE—Though Cornell students are no stranger to the cruel whims of fortune, a select group of weary holiday travelers were quite surprised to experience an ever elusive “kind” turn of fate. After several hopeless hours of accepting that they would never make it to Binghamton due to the inoperable state of their bus, the…
NORTH CAMPUS—Cornellians are privileged to have access to such a wide variety of unique opportunities, and new students are always eager to take advantage of the multitude of offerings. Many freshmen have already forged new friendships through the abundance of extracurriculars that this university provides. Tragically, the dream college life has not materialized for one…
BEBE LAKE—As winter approaches, many creatures encounter difficulty securing a mate for the season—Cornell students included. A new study from the Cornell Behavioral Ecology Department investigated the mate-seeking strategy of the highly elusive (and highly exclusive) Spoiled bratae, colloquially known as rich students. “I was thrilled to be invited to Cornell to complete my research…
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Though there exist a multitude of excellent places across campus to have an emotional crisis, Sid Lathe ‘24 reached his own mental breaking point while descending down into Okenshields. Though the brief foreboding feelings of doom that accompany any trip down these particular stairs were not unfamiliar to Lathe, the accompanying sense of…
ARTS QUAD—Cornell’s Family Weekend is a treasured opportunity for families to reunite, take up all the tables at local restaurants, and visit that one waterfall. But for one family, the experience was not so idyllic. As Meredith Ellington ‘89 wandered across the arts quad, presumably to disrupt innocent students attempting to study in A.D. White…
KENNEDY HALL—Maxwell Tang ‘27 is well-known amongst his PSYCH 1300 classmates–not for being well-versed in developmental psychology–but for consistently interrupting his professor to defend Sigmund Freud from any criticism. So when Tang’s parents arrived in Ithaca for Parents’ Weekend, his tendencies began to make sense. “Ohhhhh, that makes sense now,” said Tang’s classmate, Anabelle Wright…
