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March 10, 2026
  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim
  • Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again
  • First Frisbee of Spring Sees Shadow, Predicts No More Weeks of Winter
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  • Local Jester Actually Prefers Fool’s Spring

    1 hour ago1 hour ago
  • Frolicking Squirrel Thinks It’s Funny You Bombed That Prelim

    4 hours ago4 hours ago
  • Dumb Idiot Bunny Rabbit Doesn’t Know It About to Get Cold Again

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • First Frisbee of Spring Sees Shadow, Predicts No More Weeks of Winter

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Iran Not Close To Nuclear Capability, Says New Radioactive Super-Ayatollah

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Fire Hazard! Asbestos Removal Notices Cover Over 10% of Dorm Room Wall Space

    1 week ago1 week ago
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Student Who Dreams of Being an Investment Banker Sort Knows What “Leverage” Means

Nooz Staff12 years ago01 mins

Local Investment Banker-in-the-making Kent Gonzalez allegedly sort of knows what the word “leverage” means. “It has to do with debt, I know that. And ‘leverage’ sounds like ‘lever’, which you use to balance something, so it’s like balancing the books with debt, right?” says Kent Gonzalez, the student who dreams of one day working for…

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Wines Class Cancelled After Student Urinates on Professor

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago01 mins

In  the wake of a recent mishap, Introduction to Wines has been cancelled until further notice. This move follows an incident from last Wednesday’s lecture, in which a disgruntled and inebriated student urinated on Professor Grabenstein’s leg after learning that he failed an exam. The student, whose name has yet to be released, is currently being…

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