WEST CAMPUS — Sororities have prepared to welcome a new class of young women who, by the end of Rush Week, will transformed into mystical, glitter-breathing fairy creatures. “This is all going to be worth it, we shall be perfected by Bid Day,” gushed Quinn Pepperdine ’19, as the next step in the metamorphosis, her…
JESSUP FIELD—On Tuesday night, the hotly anticipated Cornell 2022 Intramural Outdoor Soccer League championship game—which was also the first game of the season—came to an underwhelming close. Team SOCCr, a ragtag group of CHEM2070 all-star students, put up a valiant effort but ultimately lost their chance at the glory that comes with intramural excellence. “We…
KENNEDY HALL- Following an entire year of taking introductory classes for the eventual B.S. degree, Comm major Samantha Booker ’17 admitted that at this point in her collegiate career she still is unaware of what ‘Comm’ stands for. “Computers? Community? Combative training? I really don’t know, and these classes aren’t giving me any hints,” complained…
As the new semester begins, so too does the never-ending plight of the workers, according to a few Cornell students. Leon Truman ’17, and his classmates in “Marxism: Then and Now” have decided that the sins of capitalism are theirs to overturn. “The capitalist presence here is really out of control,” said Truman, sporting a…
CAMPUS ROAD AND COLLEGE AVE—According to a new study released by the Department of Civil Engineering, walking diagonally across the College Ave.—Campus Rd. intersection has been found to be definitely worth it. “My entire commute to class has changed after discovering that trick, so it’s been cool to see the university confirm what I’ve known…
In recent weeks, a new trend of “look-alike” competitions for celebrities has been popping up all over the country. One Cornell staff member, Jacob Kerrigan ’02, decided to join in on the fun, putting a personal twist on the fun new tradition. The poster, unfortunately, features a somewhat blurry photo of the subject of the…
NORTHERN HEMISPHERE — Thousands of Cornell students came to the conclusion today that, holy shit, summer is more than halfway done. Damn. “It’s almost August already?! When the hell did that happen?!” exclaimed Cecilia Verona ’18 after realizing that after two months, she no longer has time to accomplish everything she wanted to this summer….
URIS LIBRARY– Sasha Wilken ‘24 is truly embracing the aesthetics of dark academia by donning a tweed blazer while she sobs over her 324 pages of reading due Friday. “I’ve always loved looking at dark academia fashion and pictures on pinterest, but now that I have no time to do that, I have found a…
ITHACA, NY-Recent evidence supports the long reigning claim that The Cornell Daily Sun is, in fact, run by an evil race of mutant lizard people. The office of the Sun has been reported closed from December 6th, until January 19th, the coldest period of the year, during which time a cold-blooded species (such as lizard…
DAY HALL — Cornell Office of Financial Aid announced plans to both end need-blind admissions for international students and raise tuition last week after they had, for the second time, wired ten million dollars to a self-proclaimed Nigerian Prince over Western Union and needed to make up the lost capital quickly. “We will begin admitting…
