Bars – CU Nooz

Headlines

Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition
2 days ago
ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World
5 days ago5 days ago
Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe
6 days ago6 days ago
18-Year-Old’s Passion for Synergy Really Comes Through in Club Application
6 days ago6 days ago
Collegetown Housewarming Party Lukewarm at Best
1 week ago1 week ago
Student in Suit Evaluates, Judges Slightly Younger Student in Suit
2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

OP-ED: I Finally Got Drunk Enough to Carry The Fwuffy Wuffy Skunk Back to My Dorm

Nooz Staff4 years ago04 mins

I had just begun the godforsaken journey up Eddy street back toward North Campus, my arms slung over the shoulders of my marginally less drunk friends and my feet dragging uselessly behind, when I noticed what appeared to be a Club Penguin puffle waddling beside us in the brush. “Boys, boys,” I whispered, “You see…

Reunited Sophomore Not Telling Friends His Parents Say Hi

Nooz Staff9 years ago02 mins

FLATIRON DISTRICT, NYC — After weeks of isolation, Sam Traynor ’19, who was finally reunited with his Cornell friends for a night of debauchery, neglected to tell everyone his parents say ‘hi.’ “How’s that Jimmy, Johnny, boy doing? The engineer. Tell that sharp young gentleman I say hi,” Mr. Traynor said of the 20 year…