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March 17, 2026
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long
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  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • CTB Declares War on Qahwah House, Fires 300 Espresso Shots

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Wikipedia Page of Esteemed Professor Currently Flunking You Not Even, Like, That Long

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester

    6 days ago6 days ago
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OP-ED: I’m Not Just a Social Drinker After All

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

A few months ago, back at Cornell, my roommates got a little concerned when I came home trashed for the fifth night in a row. But I was out with friends, and I was just a social drinker. And then quarantine set in. I thought a few beers every night was normal. I’d have a…

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  • Student Life

Entire Nation Way Too High and Paranoid to Leave House Right Now

Nooz Staff6 years ago03 mins

USA—Reports and online activity from across the country indicate that citizens are far too fucking zoinked to go outside at the moment. “It’s just that the outside world is super scary right now,” said Brent Rant ‘22, who is currently fried inside his Bend, Oregon home. “For example, my neighbor could notice how totally stoned…

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